Coming Out @ Work. Good or Bad?

I’ve been going back and forth about this issue ever since I started working 3 years ago.

Should you come out at the workplace? Is it a good idea to come out to a coworker?

Yes, you have lunch with your coworker, you get along pretty well, she laughs at your jokes, you’ve added her on Facebook, and most importantly, you feel she’s open minded, but is it a good idea to come out to her?

What if she stops looking at you as that talented Marketing guy who’s good in English, and starts looking at you as that guy who takes it up the ass?

If a straight employee brags to his coworkers that he fucks chicks every night, he’s so macho. He’s the MAN. When a GAY employee simply says he’s gay, without bragging of any sexcapades, he’s immediately seen as that man who screams like a woman in bed (even IF he’s not a bottom).

But I’m so surprised at myself these days. It doesn’t bother me as much it used to. I feel more comfortable coming out to people, than ever before. (Wow. Being gay IS really a work in progress.)

So anyway, I came out to this coworker. She asked me over lunch about my dating life and I said I had a boyfriend last year. She was cool about it and didn’t flinch, which made me feel at ease. But still I can’t help but wonder if there’s a risk of her taking me LESS SERIOUSLY…PROFESSIONALLY… after knowing I was gay. Or is it all in my head?

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10 thoughts on “Coming Out @ Work. Good or Bad?

  1. jad

    Not just the person. The field of your work too. I think Marketing and other related fields are generally more tolerant or gay-friendly. Talk about me :( I work in the engineering sector, where macho-ism is the norm!
    Anyway, nice blog, I recently discovered it, reading it kinda makes it easier for me to start mvoing my big old rusting closet :)

    Reply
  2. blebnani

    I guess If she is an open minded gay friendly person she will not think a lot about the subject But let’s say she will i think it will be for a while and after that she will forget about your sexuality … I don’t think normal people keep on thinking about the sexuality of others while working with them whether they r bi , hetero or homo.

    Reply
  3. Tarek

    mmm. coming out to co-workers… Might not be such a bad idea.. though you must be prepared for anything, i guess.. you never know: said co-worker might suddenly take a dislike to you and decide to wreck your career, and they would be well-equipped to do so. I too am in the engineering sector, and having a gay reputation is not…. strategic… for one to have on them, especially in this country.. But anyhow…

    And yeah, coming out does get decidedly easier :D I almost swallowed my heart when I first came out to my friend (she went into shock for a couple of minutes before we sat down and talked it over in detail), but it feels so much better :) No more living in perpetual fear of discovery anymore: now, whoever finds out I’m gay, and doesn’t like it, can go fuck themselves. Happily. Who knows, they might even like it ;)

    Oh, and by the way (this is out of subject but I can’t resist), I actually found out about manjam by reading your articles oh so long ago, and since then I got two wonderful boyfriends in the exchange, so I guess a thanks is in order. A BIG thanks. Keep up the good work buddy :)

    Reply
  4. loleatta

    Story of the day:

    Few weeks ago, I heard a girl having a fight with her boyfriend over some homophobic comment he made. It gives me hope.

    (BB check my blog)

    Loleatta.

    Reply

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