Category Archives: Shit Motherfucker Shit Fuck

Straight Men of Manjam

You know…as gay guys, we get caught up in our own gayness that we forget that there’s an under-represented segment of the gay community: the straight men.

They’re all over Manjam, and they truly make the Manjam experience more fun than it already is.

Out of the 14209 Lebanese profiles on Manjam, 889 of them are straight men.

That’s 6.3%!

Yeah, it’s weird how a straight guy can sign up on a gay dating website. But think of the benefits. It’s hard finding a decent gay guy, so who knows…maybe a straight guy is just what you need!

“But he’s straight…”

Oh straight, shmaight! Would you forget about the labels just for once?!

But on a serious note, remember when you still called yourself “a straight guy” and tried to convince yourself that the seven wet dreams you had involving Colin Farrell were an innocent brotherly lovin? That’s just it! Some of these guys aren’t yet comfortable calling themselves “gay” or “bisexual” and I get that. Be patient and give them 2 months to upgrade to a gayer label.

Then there are the straight guys who like to sleep with ladyboys (girls with penises)…

And the straights who are “gay for pay”…

And of course.. the actual straight boys looking for actual straight girls. Aww.

Ah Manjam, you dah realest melting pot…

The Pitfall of Monogamy

To have one person you go home to.

To cuddle with. To spoon with.

To talk to him after a rough day at work and bitch about your stupid manager.

To have one person you wake up to in the morning and eat corn flakes together.

To be with someone so long that your friends tell you you’re starting to resemble each other.

It’s all very nice.

*Shift scene to four years later*

You’re on your first date with a guy after your long term monogamous relationship.

You’re on your knees unzipping his pants.

“Oooh uncut. My ex didn’t have all this extra meat. What do I do with it?”

You do what you know best.

You lick his balls.

Cause that’s what made your ex moan so hard.

You lick and lick. No response. No moan.

You suck on those balls. No response. No moan.

You look up to him with one ball in your mouth like a dog waiting for approval. Nothing.

“How could it be that this guy doesn’t like to get his balls licked?! My ex loved it! Aren’t all guys the same?!”

Yeah, not really.

So it hits you.

You’ve spent the last four years of your life thinking you’ve mastered the art of sex cause you’ve had it everyday for four years, when in reality, you’ve just mastered the art of sex with that one…person…

Only.

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Best & Worst Gay Tweets

There are some well-written tweets out there that spark a conversation about gay Lebanon or that show some support to the trans/homo/bi community!

Congrats to the three below tweeps for making it on the list!

(This in no way suggests that the tweeps are gay themselves or even gay supporters! For example, @JohnyFarrina could just be asking @HaririSaad if he agrees gays should be given equal  rights. It’s just a question, not a declaration of support.)

And now…to the bad tweets of the week…

Ay, ay, ay. People…

You should learn that “gay” isn’t an adjective you use when you want to imply something is “bad”.

And if you do, come on, you should know better.

Nonetheless, congrats for making it on the list!

(This in no way suggests that the below tweeps are straight or antigay. There are many gays out there who use the fucked up “that’s so gay” expression)

See you next Tuesday!

Where to sleep together? That’s the question!

One of the things that make it hard for gay guys to have sex is that most Lebanese guys live with their parents until the age of…well…infinity!!

Doesn’t matter if we’re in our late twenties or our mid thirties, we’re still living in our parents’ house! It’s in the Lebanese culture.

So if you wanna have sex with a guy and you both live with your parents, where do you go?!

Of course it’s not just us gays that suffer from this dilemma, it’s also straight people. In fact, us gays and straights, united by our love for sex, are the ones keeping the “Dbayeh Marina” busy at 2 am!

But, really, it sucks to be a 20 something year old and not have a place of your own…

I’m tired of sleeping with men while their mom, grandmother, or brother is in the other room. Talk about a silent orgasm!!!

sources: pic 1; pic 2

The Power of Dance

I can’t feel my feet.

The left side of my head is sore cause it crashed into the right side of my friend’s head.

There’s a ringing in my ear.

My neck’s gonna hurt like a fatherfucker tomorrow cause of all the head movements.

I’m thirsty.

I stink.

But it’s worth it.

Cause tonight, I got to dance.

I donno how to explain it, but I’ll try.

They played We Found Love tonight. It was just 2 hours ago but I can’t even remember how I moved my feet or how I danced. I prolly blacked out. I just remember the feeling it gave me. For 3 minutes, I was fucking happy. For 180 seconds, I was the shit!

I can’t help it. When there’s good music, I can’t sit down. Tonight, I forgot my problems, the work drama, and let go of every bad thing that brings me down.

It never seizes to amaze me how some people can calmly sit on their table when a song like Single Ladies is on. They don’t move an inch! How’s that possible? I don’t get it. How can you not move when Ray Of Light is blasting on the stereo? Wlak I know you ain’t got no rhythm but who cares what people say? Just move it and don’t be so uptight.

Lots of people probably look at me and say: “set down betch, you donno how to dance and you’re makin a fool of yourself”. Well, I don’t give a fuck. I’m free! Can you say that about yourself?

If you’re one of those who don’t dance cause you’re shy…I insist. Go to your room, lock the door, put your favorite song on blast, and move. Act like a whore. Shake that ass. Move those arms. MOVE! No one’s watching (unless you believe in God in which case I’m pretty sure He’s okay with it)

Here’s to you…

The power of dance.

Until we meet again next week…

Aw, my head.

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Majdi and Wajdi

Majdi & Wajdi

Majdi & Wajdi are two gay characters featured on a Lebanese comedy show.

They’re extremely stereotypical: feminine, promiscuous, demand big dick, & add the letters “s” and “z” when they talk (Hayatsy, Majdzi, Wajdzi).

Many people are against  featuring them on TV. The straight ones think it glorifies homosexuality and fear that their kids may become gay, while gays are against it because it shows them as feminine sex freaks.

But what really interests me is the people who find it funny.

You see, 2 weeks ago, I was watching TV with my family and “Majdi w Wajdi” got on (they were begging the prison guard to let them go to prison while they carried a bag of soap). I was laughing. My family was laughing. The average Lebanese viewer was laughing.

But were we all laughing at the same thing?

I was laughing WITH Majdi & Wajdi.

Everybody else was most probably laughing AT Majdi & Wajdi.

I’m gay and I get it. I have my feminine moments and talking in a girly way is a part of our gay culture. It’s not something bad. But when you take that small part and base your entire skit around it, you end up showing a one dimensional side of gays.

But at least the show’s keeping the conversation going.

Viewers love the actors Adel Karam and Abbas Chahine who play the characters, so the love and respect they have for those actors can indirectly translate to some likability for Majdi and Wajdi.

They even have a fag hag Tee Tee (pronounced Tsee Tsee) in the show who’s very supportive of her two gays, so that’s good. That shows the viewer that these gays have straight friends who don’t laugh AT them but listen to their problems (and boy drama).

So like it or not, Majdi and Wajdi are a part of Lebanese pop culture.

But at what price? Only time will tell…

 

Watch more Majdi w Wajdi videos here

How do I taste?

It’s like you’re waiting in the corner.

Waiting for me to finish my dinner so you get some leftovers.

I mean, honestly.

Do you really wanna fuck every guy I’ve been with?

Are you doing it on purpose or is Lebanon running out of men?

Does it please you to be with someone I was with? To love someone I loved? To care about someone I cared about?

Could it be that you snatch my exes after I’m done with them just cause you want a taste of me?

I don’t blame you. That bed you’re sleeping in now…I was there for months.

My curly hair’s still on the pillow, my cum stains are on the sheets, my saliva’s on his lips.

So how do I taste, bro?

Tell me.

How do I fucking taste?

To date or not to date “Psycho” dude

I think the measure of a good date is “do you want the night to end or not?”. And in this case, I didn’t.

See I went out with a guy this week, and it was one of the best dates I’ve ever had.

He was cute and sweet but not TOO sweet. Felt he was a good guy.

Next day, I told my close friend about the guy and he flipped. He was so shocked I would go out with such an ugly guy. (I found him to be cute :P)

Then he tells me about an online chat he had with this same guy a couple of days ago… and it wasn’t good! Something to do with his mental situation. Something to do with him being clingy and dramatic. Something to do with him being a total, and I quote, “Psycho”.

Halla2 to be honest, I had sensed there was something a bit off about this guy even before we went out, but not something extreme.

I’m confused.

Should I believe the bad reviews I’m getting about this guy or give him a chance?

I mean, aren’t we all “sick” in a way? All of us go through bad break ups and act crazy in a relationship. Believe me, if my exes ever shared some of the shit that went on with us, I’d be having one sick reputation too!

But I wouldn’t want any other person to judge me on the sick things I’ve done before. I want them to judge me on the sick things I’m doing NOW!

Jeez…that makes TOTAL SENSE!

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Hi, my name is…

Rodolph?

Ahmad?

Abu Bakr?

No, no. Elie!

I swear, if i had a dime for every single time a gay guy told me his name was Elie.

A couple of weeks ago, I was chatting with this guy. Manly. Cute. My type.

He told me his name was… Let’s Call him Akhou Sharmouta.

So I chat with Akhou Sharmouta for a week before meeting him.

I ask him: “Listen, is your name REALLY Akhou Sharmouta? Cause I’ve been through that road before and I’m used to gays lying about their names!”

He tells me: “No, no! I swear! My name is Akhou Sharmuta!”

What am I to do? The guy’s 28 and I assume he’s outgrown the “lying about the name” phase. I believe him. Although it’s weird…who names their kid Akhou Sharmouta?

We go out on a date. We’re flirting. He’s cute.

Then at the end of the date, I accidentally bring up the topic of names and fake names. He doesn’t react and acts weird.

I suspect there’s something wrong and ask: “Wait, wait. Your name is Akhou Sharmouta, right”?

He says: “Well…not quite. I’m not Akhou Sharmouta”.

I didn’t see that one coming all over my face.

I drop him to his car and say sayonara.

I mean, seriously? What would I tell my kids? Daddy and Daddy met on Manjam and your daddy lied about his real name! How romantic!

ps: It’s still a mystery. He didn’t even have the decency to tell me his real name even after he was caught in a lie. Akhou Sharmouta? Akhou Manyouke? I would never know.

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Pics: 12

How to Make a Dyke Happy?

#HowtoMakeADykeHappy was a trending topic on twitter this week.

Of course, dyke is considered by many to be a derogatory term which refers to lesbian when used by non-gay people (much like the term fag).

Naturally enough, the trending topic led people to use the hashtag and spread some typical negative stereotypes related to lesbians, butch lesbians, and of course…dykes.

Check out some of those tweets.

As seen on twitter...

 

I wonder if the trending topic was #HowtoMakeaFagHappy, would the backlash and uproar be more?

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